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lindaforgrave's mission is to...
lindaforgrave(144)
Communicate more positively with my kids
This is my second time raising a family and we are raising our grandkids whom we've adopted. I don't have the patience and understanding that I would like to have with them. I believe they have a lot of anger and resentment towards their bio mother and rightly so but it's hard to deal with. I love them dearly and they are good, intelligent kids but act more like devils at times.
| Rated | 0/5 |
| Number of ratings | 0 |
| Date published | 16-Nov-2009 |
| Last updated | 13-Dec-2009 |
| No. of respondents | 4 |
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Rolaa (235)
When I read your post I hear how challenging your situation is, I'm sure your kids benefit greatly from being raised by you!
The two things that I can think of is to a) see the beauty of these kids, and keep reminding yourself that their sometimes 'devilish' behaviour is a front and their beautiful mind is hiding behind it as a means to not get hurt. And b) to spend quality time with them where you are very curious about each kid, what they want, what is important to them, what is their dream etc. (asking a lot of open, curious questions).
I hope this triggers an idea or two for you :-)
Carola.
| Date published | 25-Nov-2009 |
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jacqui.tohc (2589)
Hi.. very good mission. Take time out to explore the needs inside your kids. Maybe the outwards displays of displeasure, or devilish behaviour is an act (subconsciously) to get your attention more fully.
I think it's really important to 'listen' may not to the words,but to the souls, crying out for love and importance of being wanted and needed.
-- good luck with your mission.
| Date published | 11-Dec-2009 |
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lindaforgrave'responds...
lindaforgrave (144)
Thank you both very much for your response they make a lot of sense. I'm sorry I didn't reply to the first one Carola, I missed it somehow.
Both of your responses have touched my heart and helped me to think. I no they can feel very insecureat times and think that we may leave them too but I hope they also know that it will never happen. It makes sense that they would act out to get more attention even negative attention. Their mother phoned on Thanksgiving day and my daughter answered it. Her bio mother knows that is not allowed to phone when they are home or still up at night. Well my daughter who is 5 cried for 10-15 minutes because of that call. They are hurting because she left them and don't understand it fully. We've explained things to them without telling them the real reason. I can understand the why they act out and your replies help me to realize that I need to listen and do what you've recomended. Thank you.
| Date published | 13-Dec-2009 |
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