lauramaggs(1420)

i have an eight year old going on 18 help!!!!!

My daughter is eight she is very clever and very very mature for her age to have a coversation with her is like you are talking to a ten eleven year old! She is now wanting things like moblies and to use the net and asking alot of questions. Why do women have babies?? Where do they come from?? birds and the bees really and very much wanting to know the difference in adults and children. HELP!!!!!!! LOL! she is eight i am not ready for this i really am not i dont know if she is? I am scared she has got it all from other people and wants to know from me if it all true. I just say thats adults thing, change the subject anything to avoid the questions but i want her to feel she can come to me but she is my baby so innocent so sweet she dont need to know the things she wants to know, does she??? Im not happy to let my baby grow up just yet!!!

Tracy (22380)

Haha, I SO know what is going to happen!! You are avoiding her questions, so she's going to ask me!! The one that stumped me, especially because the other kids were around, was why does it matter if that toy is over £100 and in America if Father Christmas is going to bring it?? My response was that I only know what I am buying for people, I don't know what you are going to buy her and get Father Christmas to bring her. Seemed to satisfy her!

Remember what we discussed years ago when we were walking home from her old school, when she was asking about heart attacks, because someone's granddad had one? Kids don't usually ask about things until they are ready to hear it, BUT external influences can make them wonder earlier than that. In my honest opinion I think she is ready to understand more than you think. I had two lovely chats with her yesterday about cute boys and acting lol! ;D If you are really worried, I would suggest sitting down with her and finding out why she is asking such questions, and if they are coming from HER, then maybe she is ready to hear it. You could go to the library and get her a book to help you explain it, and I'm sure there are helpful tips online for telling kids about things! Just make sure she knows it's not time to tell the other kids yet!

When your oldest boy asked me where babies come from I said I don't know and that's why I don't have any!!! ;D :P

Btw I think the biggest obstacle will be convincing her dad that she is growing up lol!

robertburnes (7840)

I agree with tracy, sometimes children "mature" before we want them to, but it is part of growing up. In this instance, i would think that she is ready to know the basics, with all the attached warnings of course, and maybe too she has grown up a little quicker due to circumstance.

Tracy (22380)

She's probably not ready to hear all the details, as Robert says, the basics. Work out what you think is appropriate to tell her and if she asks more questions, then maybe she is ready to hear a bit more! I was there when you were trying to explain why babies don't fit in men's bellies lol! That went fine!

Can I just point out that what I said to her brother about not knowing where babies come from, satisfied him, which is a sign he is not ready to hear it. If he was ready, he would have questioned me further, like 'but how would you get one if you wanted one?' or something like that! Your daughter does ask those sorts of questions!

And if she doesn't get the info from you, she might start asking others, and you don't know what they will tell her, or whether they have all the facts themselves! They'll start teaching that sort of thing to her at school soon, so maybe you could approach her teacher and ask advice?

robertburnes (7840)

You are very welcome laura, and i sense that you will do very well. Good luck with everything.

jogillespie (17271)

Wow...this is a biggie. I wonder if you had the talk with her. I remember my mum sitting me on her knee when I was about 9, explaining about periods, etc, cos some girls in my class already had them. (excuse me any males reading this!). My mum let my sister and brother (younger than me) in on the conversation, so it wasn't really a mystery for them. We also had a book from when I was really young called "Where did I come from?", about mummy and daddy sharing a special cuddle, etc etc.

One thing I would say is to make sure your daughter knows about stranger danger, and the correct names for her body parts. You don't need to be creepy about it, but also make sure she knows about her comfort zone, and what words she can use to make someone stop doing something she doesn't ffeel comfortable with. "I don't like that. Please stop." or a firm "No, I don't want you to do that".

It is fantastic that you want her to know that she can always come to you, this is soooooo important for our kids. Make sure your boys know it, too. boys can have more probls than girls, cos they get taught from an early age not to express their fears and anxieties, but be a "big boy" a "man" and don't cry. Very hard for the wee fleas.